Sunday, January 01, 2017


New Year 2016 ; Primrose Hill, London.

Another year, another chapter in life. I know everybody has complained on how 2016 has been the worst year by far ( with passings of many many beloved names, RIP Harambe ) but also personally 2016 was rough on me. It started out with a lot of hope; with the whole idea of turning 21 and whatnot. But oh boy did that light of hope dim in a split second. Of course never in my life had I imagine that I would be celebrating New Years Eve in London, a city far away from Shah Alam with my bestfriend, it was indeed  a beautiful start. But as the year progressed, I did not. Finding myself sitting under the duvet, people wondering if I was in town when I actually was but people just rarely saw the sight of me, my brain draining all the positivity away that I was only left with dark ideas. 

If I were to travel back in time to meet my teenage self, I would tell her to not look forward on turning 21. I dont know, all my life, turning 21 was one of the things I looked forward to due to the whole turning into an adult and getting my key to freedom or whatever. But oh boy my 21st birthday was literally the most depressing birthday ever, I am not even kidding. Don't want to go further on this because everybody is probably tired of everyone's story of fighting depression and blah blah blah. 

It was kind of hard to try and remember anything good from this year ( that happened personally ) but here goes a very mediocre list on my highlights of 2016 in no particular order;

  • New Year's eve in London 
    • Never did 15 year old Fathishah and Syaziyah ever pictured themselves six years from then, they'd be celebrating New Year's eve together in the suburbs of London. The struggle of 3 tiny southeast asian girls to get through the jam packed crowd trying to enter Chalk Farm station after the celebration was unforgettable. Then waited for the bus to get back to our hotel at a little past 1a.m. in zone 6 of London, might I add; in winter. Then had to send them to Heathrow the next morning sobs ;(
  • Getting a cat
  • Yoshi, a day after adoption
    • After making the decision of taking the year off, I thought getting a cat would be real good therapy for me. All my life, there was never a point where I did not have a cat around the house, at least up until I flew to GB. So somewhere in August, I adopted Yoshi and basically shes my roommate now because she sleeps, eats, shit in my room. Of course the last part is in her litter box, in my bathroom. 
  • Hair makeover
    • I started bleaching my hair late last year and started dyeing my hair since earlier this year. It was tween Fathishah's life long dream to have green or purple hair and in one year, she has had 9 colours in her hair.

  • Volunteering; SFKL & cat shelter.
    • The cat shelter thing was supposed to be a job but it only lasted a week because I still couldn't commit to anything. But it was a great experience. I started volunteering in 2015, but then it was just teaching programs; tuisyen sayang & chance. And then there was that one time we distributed food to the homeless in Birmingham. Street Feeders of Kuala Lumpur, SFKL was one of an eye opening experience for me. What I really like about SFKL is; it was more than just giving out food, we were told that the homeless of KL are fed 365 days a year but SFKL also prioritized engagement and emotional support. Most of the time, we always just feel about giving stuff to the less fortunate, when sometimes, they just need someone to talk to, get their voices heard, their stories across. 
I thought listing out good things that happened in 2016 would make me feel better about the year but nope, 2016 still sucked for me. 

I know a year is just a year, a man-made system to ease documentation, based on our earth's rotation around the sun but for 2017 I just hope I can be more satisfied with what I do. To be more expressive, putting myself out there, try new stuff, keeping up with feticia's felicity and this blog. I don't have any specific resolutinos for 2017 but I just want to be happy and true to myself. 

'til next time, 

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