College rant; dos.

May till November.

A semester in college really went by. Although I had one too many homesick days, but Alhamdulillah, I made it till finals. I finished my first semester as a science matriculation student. Now let's pray to Allah that I'll get good results so I can continue my one year program with flying colours.

Even though I spend my time constantly complaining about and saying how much I hate my college life but being there really taught me things that I never thought about in high school.

See, in high school, everything went (quite) smoothly. I went to an ordinary high school near my housing area and most of the students there went to the same primary school as I did, so making friends wasn't a big problem although most of us only know ourselves as schoolmates during primary (i did not have much friends in primary), but everybody knows who's who. And maybe my extra curricular activities played a role in my making-friends phase.

But here in college, I was all alone again. I have never been the girl who easily fit in any crowd at the very first second. Yes, there are a few friends from high school and primary school (there are a lot of shah alam kids there) but I didn't have anybody from my usual clan of girls in school. So, I had to break out of my shell and start conversations with people although finding a common interest with the people I meet was actually quite hard.

Born and raised in Shah Alam, the people I knew had almost the same point of view as me. Mainly because we grew up around the same community. And being there, with people from allover the country, I learnt that not everybody has the same way of living life. 

You can easily be judged that you're too different just by acting or saying what you would usually say or look like with the people back home. Like, just because we have different ways of presenting ourselves out to the world, doesn't influence on how good or bad of a person we are. Sometimes I see my colleagues judging on some people and I just sit there silently and thought to myself "that's normal back at home, what's there to be judged?" and "well she's no different than me, what if they see the real me outside of college, will they judge me too?"

Sometimes I just feel like it's unfair. Judging a person just because of the clothes she/he wear, the way she/he communicates, the people they mingle around with. Just because some people are not brought up the same way as you did, you can not just simply attack her for not being as "perfect" as you are.